Blessings in the Valleys

I have been in what you might call a valley for a while now. Yet, God's blessings seem to be coming on a regular basis. Being out of work the past three years, adjusting to physical limitations, and struggling to move forward have enabled both myself and my husband to grow spiritually in ways I would not have thought possible. I have learned to literally depend on God for my provision, and it has been more freeing than I can explain. I used to be concerned about finances and money, or the lack of having enough, on a regular basis. Although I loved God I was often preoccupied with "the cares of this world". While it is true that my life is simpler now, the freedom I experience from giving my needs over to God totally, has given me a deep happiness that reaches to my core. Stepping up in faith has not been an overnight process for me, but when we put more trust in God the rewards are amazing! Despite the trials the past three years have brought, I find myself happier, and fuller of joy than ever. I don't have to worry, because God can handle it, and you know what? He does a better job than I ever did! I have so much more time now to worship God in praise and song, to minister to or encourage a friend, to take care of my family. Do I sometimes forget that God can handle it? Yes, but thanks be to God, when I catch myself, I confess it, and pray about it.
Today my husband came home for lunch and told me his boss gave him permission to change and extend his lunch hour at work so he can start attending Sunday Service. This was a huge answer to prayer, and we had been praying about this for nearly two years. My God is awesome! I am beginning to wonder if we are still in the valley cause lately it sure seems like we are on top of the mountain!
Philippians 4: 4-7.
4"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

My Fibro Journey

My journey began with a neck/back injury that left me feeling like I had severe whiplash or had been hit by a semi-truck. After several days off work I returned but within 24 hours I realized I had no strength, I was having difficulty lifting even a few pounds at waist level. I also had knotted muscles along my spine from my neck to my tailbone, severe pain, difficulty walking and lifting my arms. My husband and I knew something was wrong but we didn't know what it was. We had no idea this would impact our lives so deeply and permanently. I continued to suffer severe pain episodes, exhaustion, and I had an extremely low tolerance for activities. I was shuffled to a variety of doctors, and none of them seemed to believe or understand my symptoms. I cannot begin to describe how hurtful it is to have people tell you it is all in your head. Finally after a year and a half we got a partial diagnosis of possible fibromyalgia. Even though I had worked as a nurse I didn't really understand fibromyalgia. I still didn't believe I had it till I visited my daughter. I told her about the doctor report, and she looked it up on the internet. "Oh, mom" she said, "you have this." I was still in denial till I returned home and read the most common places of pain were the neck, back, shoulders, hands, and pelvic area. In that moment I knew it was true. The words "No Cure" seemed to leap off the pages! Up to this point I had survived on ibupropen and muscle relaxors, but nothing was really helping. A friend told me that only a Rheumatologist could diagnose Fibromyalgia, so I set to work getting a referral for a really good doctor. After researching I found an excellent doctor located near my daughter's place. He diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia and Myofascial Pain Syndrome. He said that it would take all my strength, and a long time to get better, but that I would probably only return to about 40% of what I was before I got hurt. Not really good news, but it was good to finally have some validation for my pain and limitations. I told him my neck muscles were so bad that I had difficulty lifting under ten pounds above my waist on a regular basis. He told me this was not that unusual and that there is still little that is understood about Fibromyalgia. I was referred to a therapist who specializes in Fibro patients, as well as a sleep doctor. The therapist had to discontinue treatment after a few weeks as I could not tolerate it. He told me that on the Fibro scale I was considered a severe case. As difficult as it was to hear, it was also so freeing to be validated once again. His report stated that the prognosis for me returning to work was poor. The sleep doctor diagnosed me with RLS, and wanted me to take a sleep test to determine possible chronic fatigue, but my insurance would not pay the $3000.00+ for the sleep test. While it was good to finally know what was the matter, I cannot say it was easy. Being the eternal optimist I had kept hoping I would recover (Or God would heal me) and return to my old life. My husband kept complaining that he could not hug me anymore without hurting me, little did we know that was the Fibro, and they even have a word for it-Allodynia, or a painful response to non-painful stimuli.
The good news is that I learned a lot more about Fibromyalgia during my treatments, and most of the helpful information came from the NFA and their magazine "FM Aware". I am truly grateful for their committment to educate others on Fibromyalgia.
I have tried some other medications, some helped, some didn't. While I rely more on natural remedies such as heat, massage, proper nutrition, I also do not hesitate to take medication when I need to. Learning to manage Fibromyalgia is tricky, and while I have not mastered it, I am making progress. I am learning to focus on what I can still do, instead of what I can't. I am grateful to my family for their amazing love and support. Most of all though, I am grateful to my God, for He is made strong in my weakness.
Now, three years later, I have still been unable to return to work, or shall I say monetary employment. I am striving to move forward and do what I can. I know I am blessed because my family loves me, and My God is Awesome. Since my injury my life has been blessed in many ways. My husband has quit smoking and been baptised in the church, and together our faith in Christ has grown. My God has provided for our needs, and some of our wants too, despite the fact that our income has decreased 55%. I would encourage anyone who has Fibromyalgia to concentrate on things you can still do, find a good support group, get educated by FM Aware, be patient, it takes time to adjust, and NEVER GIVE UP!
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not into thine own understanding, in all they ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. " Proverbs 3:5,6 KJV

Easter Costs Less...

To my amazement, there was a commercial on television a few days ago that began with the statement "Easter costs less at ..." My husband and I looked at each other in disbelief. Since when does Easter cost money? I thought it was a gift from God. "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life" John 3:16. God loved us so much that he sent His son to redeem us. Through the birth and death of Jesus Christ we can be forgiven for all our sins. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" I John 1:9. Believe it, and receive it, it's that simple. It is the greatest gift of all, and you cannot buy it for a price at your local shopping center.
Let us remember the main reason we celebrate Easter, because our Saviour died on the cross for our sins. When you think of Christ's suffering it will be easy to keep Him as the center of the celebration. We can be free from guilt and condemnation because Christ took the punishment for US. That is truly powerful!

Loving God

Deuteronomy 6:5 tells us to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength." When I think about loving God it seems like a simple task. I mean I love God, naturally I do. He loved me, sacrificed his son for me, wants to give me eternal life, of course I love Him. Do I love Him enough though, do I truly love Him more than anything or anyone else? Can I honestly say I love God with all of my heart, soul, and strength? That is SERIOUS LOVE, and to be honest I am not sure I have loved anyone that much. Well, maybe my kids, those maternal instincts can be pretty strong, but I think I am supposed to love my husband more than my kids. Now I am getting confused, according to the Bible I am supposed to respect my husband, fear the Lord, and also Love the Lord with all of my being. I know that I do have love for God, I want to please Him. I try to serve Him whenever I can, and to pray daily. I am grateful for every good thing He has given me. Yet, why does it seem like I often struggle for time to read His word, or listen for that still, quiet, voice? There are so many distractions; computers, televisions, cell phones, embroidery/sewing machines, dinner to fix, groceries to buy, etc. Sometimes I find myself watching "Turner Classic Movies" for an embarrassing number of hours, while I only spent 30 minutes or less with God. How can I love Him more, maybe I should keep praying about it? Limiting distractions is not a bad idea. Remembering that everything I have came from Him, I think that is a good start. Now that I think about it, my whole family is a gift from God. My husband came from God, my kids came from God. Everything in this house He has provided. Thank you, God. He loves me and forgives me for every wrong deed or thought I have ever had. That is powerful! I am not sure if I will ever be able to say "Yes, Lord, I love you enough," but I think being thankful is a good starting point. Faithfulness to prayer, meditation in scripture, accountability to other believers, these are things I can do. I may never feel like I am truly Loving God enough, but that does not mean I am going to quit trying. "I press on toward the goal for which Christ has called me" Philippians 3;14.